A Beginner’s Guide to Gratitude
Back in the day, during one of the deepest depressions I’ve ever faced, I had a therapist recommend I write 3 things I was grateful for each day. I didn’t see the point and I was so depressed at the time that this was just one more thing to remind me of how sucky my life was at the time, especially when most days I struggled to come up with 3 things to be grateful for. I tried it for a couple of months, but I did not stick with it. I was in the mindset that when I am happy, I will have something to be grateful for.
Fast forward 8 years and I struggle to fit all of my daily gratitudes in the allotted space in my Ganbatte Planner. I now love to focus on what I am grateful for.
So, What Changed?
I learned about neuroplasticity. I learned that when you try something new, a new pathway is created in the brain. The more you do that new thing, the stronger that pathway becomes. If you keep at it, the new behavior becomes automatic and a part of the subconscious. It goes from what you do, to who you are. Your brain literally reprograms itself. Just like your muscles get stronger with exercise, your brain gets happier when you practice gratitude.
I changed my perspective. I learned that gratitude comes first, before happiness. Being happy won’t make you grateful. But by practicing gratitude, you can become happier. It becomes about what you focus on. For example, I overslept a couple of days ago. That could have thrown my whole day off. Instead, (and with the same amount of effort), I was grateful that my body got the sleep it must have desperately needed and that I was not going to get fired from my job for being a bit late. Having this attitude of gratitude helps you come from a place of being, having, and doing enough, instead of a place of scarcity.
I also learned to share my gratitude. While writing what you are grateful for is important, so is sharing it. A few months ago, I made the decision to be more grateful to my husband. As part of that process, I am thanking him every time I realize he has done something for me. As a result, I am more cognizant of just how much he does do, and he has started thanking me for the things I do for him. After 12 years of marriage, we both took many of those little things for granted. Now, we are both more likely to do things for each other because the things we are doing are appreciated and being positively reinforced. It is a win-win.
The more you focus on gratitude the more you will see things to be grateful for. Your brain will see to it. Feel your gratitude for yourself, but also share it. Gratitude is contagious, and we all like to be appreciated for what we do.
What are you grateful for? Let us know in the comments. Thank you for taking the time to read my post. It really means a lot to me.
Be well and much love.
Ganbatte!